Self Leadership, the art of questioning: practice it!
"What is the issue on which I most need to make progress at the moment as X manager, manager, director, etc? Can you formulate this question? Can you write it down?
If so, take a look at what you've written. What do you think of this question? Does it enable you to take action? If not, then criticize it to improve it. Is it not too vague, general or complex and a little confusing? You've probably used an infinitive verb, abstract words, perhaps introduced a "we". And yet this formulation is very relevant in your eyes, but it remains very theoretical. And to answer it as it stands, you'd have to read an incredible number of manuals and books on the subject in question. A good exercise from an intellectual point of view, but incompatible with your schedule? Here's a suggestion that I've been putting into practice for 15 years with managers of all levels:
- Rewrite your question starting with "How". Otherwise it won't lead to action. Action is what you want, isn't it?
- If that's your question, then embody it in the same way that you embody your authority!
- Follow with an action verb, as concrete as possible, so that everyone understands unequivocally what it's all about; You'll finish your doctoral thesis later. And above all, don't get bogged down with "must I", "could I...", "will I..." or "will I...". "that would imply that it might not work. That's too easy! Go straight to what you have to do and what's bothering you, because that's precisely the question/subject you MOST need to move forward on at the moment.
- Don't forget the flavour or colour of your question/topic: integrate your context. If your question speaks very loudly to your neighbour, your managerial colleague, then it's not quite your question yet, even if, once again, it's a very good question because it's frequently encountered when you're in a position of responsibility. It's not the same thing to say: "How do I motivate Caroline again?" as "How do I motivate Caroline again?
- Finally, end with a "for": what do you want to do?
Reorganise things, put things in order, correct an action, put a stop to a practice, say stop or say no? Rely on your anger, an energy at the service of transformation. Protecting yourself or others, safeguarding a plan, a strategy, a skill? Rely on your legitimate fear signals!
And if there's a hint of nostalgia or sadness in your question, it's because something is leaving, something you're in the process of letting go of, something you're not yet fully aware of: a role, a type of relationship, a hope, a project, an illusion, etc. The good news is that the emotion you're willing to listen to tells you that you're ready to write or have written a new page without clinging to a world that no longer exists. Now compare the first and second drafts of your question. What do you notice? Is it clearer? Simple and explicit enough for you and for the other person? Then congratulate yourself on the incredible transformation between the first and last versions of your question.
Let's laugh in passing at our ability to lose ourselves in formulations that are, to say the least, 'fumeuse'. No wonder we find it hard to act and find OUR answer when the question is badly put. If you've found your question, then you should now be reconnected to all your resources and options for taking action. In addition, you can ask for further advice from external resources that you can easily choose because your need has become clearer and you are able to make your request as explicit as possible.
If you'd like to try out this discipline, don't hesitate to share your examples of journeys between the first and last versions of your question. We'll inspire each other!