From cringe to constructive: A guide to giving feedback that sticks
In this article, originally published in trainingjournal.com, Julia Milner, Professor at EDHEC, presents a 4-step feedback method that could help managers improve the interactions with their team members.
Can I give you some feedback? Employees often cringe when they hear these words. Want to avoid the cringe? Here are some tips on how to set employees at ease and ensure your pearls of wisdom, or just simple advice, stick.
Maybe it’s time you reflected on the four pillars of feedback - thanks to the CCTP framework - and how often you use them in your interactions with team members
The CTTP framework: care, technique, two-way street and positivity
Care
The first step always involves starting with empathy. If you start with empathy, employees will be more open to your advice, and a productive conversation will ensue. Choosing the right time to give feedback and creating a positive feedback culture within your team and organisation are also essential.
Technique
Often, leaders must learn how to give feedback and receive feedback. Feedback is more than an over-simplistic sandwich, where a manager points out what is going well (the bread), gives a meaty bit of criticism (the ham), and softens the blow with another fluffy slice of bread in the form of a compliment or words of reassurance.
Leaders and HR professionals need to familiarise themselves with various feedback techniques and rethink their approach to get better at feedback. This can mean a training course, watching a short video, or simply observing people who are good at giving feedback and following their example.
Two-way street
Instead of a monologue, give the person in front of you the chance to reflect on their performance without making it feel like they are being judged. This includes asking for and receiving feedback from employees about your own performance in the workplace.
Positivity
Giving critical feedback is crucial, and there is no need for toxic positivity where we pretend that everything is great. However, often, leaders forget to show appreciation, celebrate exemplary achievements, and simply give a compliment for work well done. When there’s positive feedback, negative feedback is easier to accept.
Common feedback mistakes and what to do about them
Common feedback mistakes include:
- Never reflect on your feedback approach.
- Fail to create a feedback culture between your team members.
- Give feedback only during annual performance reviews.
These common mistakes are often linked to certain beliefs we hold about feedback.
“My feedback technique is fine”
If you keep doing what you have already done, you will get the results you always get. If you want to change something, you might start by reflecting upon your feedback style and if it’s genuinely serving your team. We can’t change others, so there is no point in saying: “I want my team member to react differently to the feedback I am giving.” You can only change yourself and your own feedback approach, and then, hopefully, others will react differently.
Ask yourself:
- How do I define feedback?
- How much importance do I give feedback and how do I show it within my team?
- What approaches am I currently using, and how can I improve?
“I don’t need to give regular feedback”
Every conversation you have with an employee in which you provide feedback helps to build the feedback culture you need to ensure your team’s long-term success. If you don’t give feedback often, you are not creating the correct feedback culture.
Most importantly, by giving regular feedback, you help employees understand that it’s not about blame or pointing out missed opportunities but about learning, innovating and testing out new ways to get work done.
If you’re in doubt about the efficiency of your feedback method, ask yourself:
- How would someone from the outside describe the feedback culture in my team?
- What do people in my team appreciate about our feedback culture?
- What needs to change?
“I don’t have time to give feedback”
This belief gets us back to core values. We don’t give time to things we don’t value. The question is, why are you providing feedback in the first place? If the answer is because it’s company policy, investigate what additional value feedback could bring to your role and your team’s success – link feedback to the values that matter to you in the workplace.
Also, think about each team member and what they value. For some, it might be freedom; for others, progress; for the next person, balance. Adapt your feedback conversations accordingly. You can also start your next feedback conversation with: “How do we need to change the feedback process so it brings you value?” Asking this question can change the tone of feedback conversations completely.
Ask yourself:
- What is the value of feedback for me as a manager?
- Why does feedback matter to my team?
- How can I give feedback more regularly?
- Prioritising feedback development
Time is precious, but it won’t be wasted when you spend it learning how to give better feedback. Maybe it’s time you reflected on the four pillars of feedback and how often you use them in your interactions with team members: care, technique, two-way street and positivity.
I also suggest thinking about your mistakes when giving feedback and what you’d do differently. By making feedback a priority for yourself and your team, you will create a feedback culture that doesn’t stifle creativity and growth but, instead, encourages and nourishes it.
